Embracing Differences : A Simple Guide to Neurodiversity Affirming Practices

Have you ever heard the phrase “Everyone’s brain works a little differently”? That’s the heart of what neurodiversity is all about. It’s the idea that there is no one “right” way to think, learn, or communicate. Instead, people have different brains and different ways of experiencing the world—and that’s okay!

What Is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is a word that describes the wide variety of ways human brains work. It includes individuals who are:

● Autistic
● ADHDers (individuals with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
● Dyslexic (individuals who process reading and writing differently)
● Dyspraxic (individuals with differences in motor coordination)
● Tourette’s
● Or other neurological differences

Some people have “neurotypical” brains, which function as society typically expects them to. Others have “neurodivergent” brains, which means their brains function differently.

Instead of trying to “fix” neurodivergent people, neurodiversity-affirming practices focus on understanding, supporting, and celebrating those differences.

Why Do We Need Neurodiversity-Affirming Practices?

For a long time, society has focused on making neurodivergent people “fit in.” This often meant:

● Forcing kids to make eye contact, even if it made them uncomfortable
● Making children sit still in classrooms, even if they focused better while moving
● Expecting people to communicate in one “standard” way
● Treating neurodivergent traits as “problems” to be “fixed”

These approaches can make individuals feel like they are broken, wrong, or not good enough.

Neurodiversity-affirming practices do the opposite. They recognize that everyone deserves to be accepted for who they are and supported in ways that work best for them.

Key Ideas Behind Neurodiversity-Affirming Practices

Here are a few key principles that guide neurodiversity-affirming approaches:

1. Presume Competence
This means believing that every person is capable of thinking, learning, and growing even if they express themselves in ways we don’t expect. It doesn’t follow that someone doesn’t comprehend or has something to say just because they are silent or have difficulty with particular duties.

2. Respect All Forms of Communication
Not everyone communicates with words. Some make use of technology, sign language, visuals, or gestures. Neurodiversity-affirming practice values all communication methods and supports people in using what works best for them.

3. Support, Don’t Suppress
Instead of trying to stop behaviors like stimming (such as hand-flapping, rocking, or humming), affirming practice asks: Why is this happening? What purpose does it serve? Often, these behaviors help people self-regulate and feel safe.

4. Follow the Person’s Lead
Whether it’s a child playing with toys in their own unique way or an adult choosing a quiet workspace, honoring individual preferences and choices is key. Allow others to demonstrate their needs and values to you.

5. Promote Autonomy
Being neurodiversity-affirming means supporting people to have control over their lives—making choices, setting goals, and expressing their identity. It’s about empowerment, not control.

What Does This Look Like in Real Life?

Let’s break it down into a few everyday settings.

At Home:

Parents and caregivers play a huge role in creating a neurodiversity-affirming environment at home.

Examples:
● Letting your child do self-stimulatory behaviour or stimming when they need to. It’s their way of coping or expressing happiness.
● Using visual schedules or pictures to help with routines instead of just verbal instructions.
● Encouraging your child’s interests, even if they seem “narrow” or intense. (That dinosaur obsession? It’s a strength!)
● Creating a quiet space for downtime when things get overwhelming.

For eg., instead of saying, “Stop doing that,” try asking, “Is that helping you feel calm right now?”

In Schools and Learning Environments:

Traditional classrooms can be challenging for neurodivergent students, but small changes can make a big difference.

Examples:
● Allowing flexible seating (standing desks, cushions, fidget tools)
● Offering options for showing learning (drawing a picture instead of writing an essay)
● Teaching social-emotional skills in a way that respects different communication styles
● Avoiding punishment for behaviors that stem from sensory overload or anxiety

For eg., instead of saying, “You need to pay attention,” say, “What helps you focus best?”

In Therapy:

Therapy is often a space where neurodivergent people are asked to change who they are. Affirming therapy flips the script.

Examples:
● Therapists building trust through relationship, not compliance
● Not using rewards and punishments to change behavior
● Focusing on supporting regulation, communication, and self-advocacy
● Listening to what the client wants, rather than assuming what they “should” want

For eg., establish goals with a client rather than for them. Give priority to what they want help with.

In the Workplace:

Neurodivergent adults often face challenges at work, not because they can’t do the job—but because the environment isn’t supportive.

Examples:
● Offering remote work or flexible schedules
● Providing instructions in different formats (written, verbal, visual)
● Creating a culture of openness where people don’t feel they have to mask their true selves
● Valuing different ways of thinking and problem-solving

For eg., rather than posing the question, “Can you work like everyone else?” “What kind of assistance do you require to perform at your highest level?”

Language Matters

The words we use shape how we think. Neurodiversity-affirming language is respectful, accurate, and empowering.

Affirming Language:

● Instead of “person with autism,” use “autistic person” (many autistic persons prefer identity-first language).
● “Non-speaking” instead of “non-verbal”
● “Support needs” instead of “deficits”
● “Neurodivergent” instead of “disordered”

Why is Neurodiversity- Affirming Practices Important?

Prevent Masking:

Many neurodivergent people, especially children, learn to mask their true selves to fit in. This can look like:

● Forcing eye contact even when it’s uncomfortable
● Hiding self-stimulatory behaviour.
● Pretending to understand or be okay when they’re not

Although masking can help someone “blend in,” it is a draining experience. Anxiety, fatigue, and even despair may result over time. Neurodiversity-affirming practices create safe spaces where people don’t have to mask—where being different is not just accepted, but celebrated.

Shifting the Focus: Strengths, Not Just Challenges

Yes, neurodivergent people may face challenges. But they also have incredible strengths:

● Creativity
● Unique perspectives
● Intense focus on things they love
● Honesty and authenticity
● Deep empathy and care

Let’s stop focusing only on what people can’t do and start noticing all the amazing things they can do.

Being neurodiversity-affirming doesn’t mean ignoring challenges. It means facing them with compassion and understanding—without trying to force people to be someone they’re not.

It means:

● Creating environments that are flexible and inclusive
● Supporting people to be their authentic selves
● Listening more than we speak
● Choosing empathy over control
● Valuing every brain, every way it works

When we affirm neurodiversity, we make the world a better place—not just for neurodivergent people, but for everyone.